I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
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You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
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She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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