So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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