Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Houston, we have a blender
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
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