Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
