I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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