Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize
