She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Randomize
