Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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