no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
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