: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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