You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
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