I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Randomize
