The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
