Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
