it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
