it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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