the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
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