We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
