Why are handjobs necessary in class?
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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