She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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