New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Randomize
