Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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