Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
