And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
