And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
