i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
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