You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
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These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
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I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I need to align my fucking chakras
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