2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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