Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
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