Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
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