my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
