Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
