hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
