just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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