but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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