dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
