My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
