I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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