Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
