1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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