Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
