Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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