I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize