He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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