There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
