Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
