Christians are straight up FREAKS
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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