Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
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