you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Randomize
