My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
