I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
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