we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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