i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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