This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
