Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize